Originally Posted by carsam
I agree with everything Juju said. This boyfriend of your mom gets his nose out of joint when anyone talks about your dad. He is insecure...but has no business disrespecting your father's name. You are part of your father, and so is your daughter...so when he disrespects your dad, he is disrespecting you.
Like Juju says, I think also your mom is denying her feelings...but it seems that no matter what she is content with this guy...maybe happy even? I dont know. The thing is...no matter what she is doing...she's making her choices as to how to move on with her life without your dad. And doesnt seem to be considering YOUR feelings, so you really should do the same. I'm not saying to stop loving her of course...but you need to refocus your priorities...and direct them to your daughters and yourself. No matter which way you cut it...your mom is coping....and she does have this man. Your daughters need you right now..and you need someone to support YOU. You cant get that from your mom right now. Dont worry so much about that "spot on her lung"...alot of people assume the worst (I have been there many more times than I can count)...but hopefully it will be something minor. Worry when you need to......
It's obvious you are really heartbroken about your dad....but I'm sure he would want you to go on and be happy. Just let your mom find her way....I guess it's better than her being alone and miserable. Then she'd be in your face all the time making you the same way. Put some distance between you...see her in small doses so that you dont feel like all of a sudden you've lost your mother as well.....and also so she doesnt drive you crazy. Juju....
I believe her dad passed away approx a year ago....it was recently anyways...but her mom got together with this guy very soon afterwards...that's why she came here......... man...there's so many sad stories out there in the world isnt there.
Ok, it's been a year... that's still fresh!
I agree w/you in that she should probably see her mom in "small doses" so as not to cut her completely off... that's just me
-- wanting to cut out the "mess".
She has to see her mom so she'll have to see the mother's boyfriend.
Maybe he'll leave out of the room so they can talk for all of --oh, say maybe -- 5 minutes???? LOL
But again, you're right: her girls need her and they can feel free to discuss their feelings with a therapist. Mom's not helping them right now.