My hubbie continues to grow with his self awareness and he is doing very well on the Lamictal so far. It's almost surreal to me how 'normal', logical and loving he is again, seeing the things that make him so wonderful to begin with again reaffirms that this is what I have been fighting for. I have told him I think he is doing great and asked him if he feels better, he seems to think so. He has recognized that he is "thinking more logically". Things are happy and calm at home. As you said, if he can manage his sleep cycles, stress and limit alcohol better, hopefully the meds will continue to help him forever! He is doing better on this combo than ever with the lithium alone.
I guess since I've seen and felt how devastating this illness can be, I feel the FEAR of the unpredictability still. Hoping this will subside or lessen as time goes on and things progress. I probably need to see the therapist to deal with this. Now that my husband seems more stable, I am terrified of ever seeing him the other way again (I am referring to the severe mania or depression). Granted, he hasn't had the severe mania since before the lithium, but he's had manic symptoms that are not pleasant to be around. I feel terrible that he has such debilitating depression at times, but it makes him highly irritable, negative, mean and hurtful which is what makes it hard on us. I'm not sure where the ADHD comes into play with these symptoms, but it can also make a person irritable, frustrated and depressed. This is really not the way he is as a person at all and I know that he is right when he says that he's always been the same person inside.
I think the question I have is when someone does find the right meds and has invested time in therapy, and does seem to have more self awareness and not in so much denial that they have a problem, is it UNLIKELY that they will revert to the same behaviour as before their treatment? My hope is that if anything does shift or if he cycles, my husband will be able to recognize it first and address it before it gets out of control. We're definetely a lot further along than we were 3 years ago!...and for that I am so grateful.
I remember how it is for things to feel almost hopeless and heartbroken, when nothing you are doing seems to help your loved one who is struggling. The affect is has on the people who are trying to hold the family together is insurmountable and exhausting. Tsohl, it is encouraging to hear you remind me that better things are in the works for people who are dealing BP. Hopefully, research and progress for the treatment of BP will continue to advance!
A big THANK YOU to the wonderful, caring individuals on this board who continue to give of yourself to help others!