Hello bdean. Wow, it's a small world! I grew up in Memphis. Untill 4 yrs. ago anyway. I wonder if my mom knows about Methadone clinics......isn't that where you are medicated at the clinic? I wonder if her will to quit is strong enough for that to actually benefit her.....don't get me wrong, but I've put sooo much hope in her getting clean sooo many times that I just don't even know what her real intentions are. You have a huge point as far as her brain chemistry being screwed up now. That hurts me for her. I know it's possible for her to get her natural abilities to feel good back(thought it'd be hard and her will would have to be super strong) but I don't know that she wants to consider or realize that it's possible. She also still lies about her drug useage. She just got arrested while high and had all kinds of excuses about why she took something and even that she was ok to be driving.....she wasn't....even when my sister and I had to pick her up hours after. And she didn't even acknowledge how hard it must've been for us to have to do that. No "thank you" no "I'm sorry". No ownership of HER actions. My sister was late for work. She felt she had to tell her boss exactly what was going on I guell b/c she no longer feels it important to keep my mom's illness a secret since my mom doesn't, so everyone in my sister's life knows how distructive my mom is. It's ok that people know, but my mom expects my sister(with her 3 kids mind you) to be there for her and to see all the darkness she goes through. My sister is getting such a bad influence of a mom b/c she STILL is an example for us. I say my sister is expected to be there b/c I'm not living in my home town where they are. I'm about 10 hrs. away. This arrest happened when I was visiting. When she could've been happy her 2 grandkids were in from out of town and been spending quality time w/them. She's 47 yrs. old. Doesn't she know how precious and impressionable her 5 grandkids lives are? They aren't going to know too much about her with what she's choosing for her life. What's bad is she tries to be so close with my niece(7yrs.) and my neice loves her a lot. But then she comes around her soooo messed up. You'd think she would at least want to hide it from her. It's not ok to give such a young child that example. I'm sure my mom's example alone won't determine how our kids live, but why is she just not considering what she's showing them. I guess I could look at it like the kids may learn the wrong way to act from her. She's sacrificing her life to teach them how not to live???? No, I know that's not why she is addicted. It's an illness, I know. I just don't know what's gonna finally make her realize she can pull out of it, if only she wanted to bad enough. My sister tells me that she's killing herself slowly, I just hate that my sister has to live with that.
Thank everyone for your posts and support.