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Old 08-01-2007, 04:12 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2006
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Unhappy Problems, and then some more problems!

Good morning all......I know I haven't been around much lately but this is not by choice. As you all know I have suffered immensly since my shoulder surgery. It at this point is moving along. When I was first injured a year ago May it took barely 3 months for me to have a major PTSD flare up. Took 10 months of hard work and counseling to get myself together. Because of the constant pain I could feel myself slipping again. I have my first appt. back with my therapist today as it is needed. Certain aspects of the surgery and the pain that followed have caused me to be on guard for another PTSD flar-up. I am having one but not near as severe as last summer. This is also a bad time of year for me as the 10th anniversary of my daughter's death is approaching the end of August. I try to keep this in mind as it is the whole ball of wax on my shoulders ( bad one too)right now. I am not slighting myself in that strenght is not enough at times. I had my anual Eye exam on Saturday and was very distressed to find out that I have almost no sightin my left eye do to a rare cataract brought on by all the steroid use to treat my injuries in the past year. Anger set in immediately that again I will suffer the consequences of doing my job. I see the eye surgeon on Thursday and know that I will need surgery ASAP. I am panicked just at the thgouth of another surgery let alone on my eye. I will speak to the surgeon about my PTSD, the fact that I just had a very traumatic surgery just 3 months ago and feel I will need to be put out that the thougth of a local makes me sick to the stomach and makes me feel as if I am going to pass out. Enough is enough now. One thing after the other , and it all goes back to being injured at work. Health issues cropping up because of the necessary treatments to help these injuries along. I am very angry, scared. I am going to stand up for myself in the surgeon's office and not allowhim to blow me off. I am petrified so he will have to deal with that and find a way to do this surgery with me knowing nothing. I knowit is only a 10 minutes surgery but the thought of having injections in my eye will probably keep me from even showingup the day of surgery. Please know that I care about all of you and wish you all health and recovery from this God awful disorder. I will be in and out of here. Once the surgery is done, I probably will not be able to see for a few days. The eye strain is takin git's toll on me now. Be well. Be safe. Be strong.

ICC