My husband is not the same man
It is hard for me to comprehend what happened overseas during "Iraqi Freedom" what I do know is my husband is not the same and we are on the verge of divorce. My husband went over April of 2003 for 13 months as part of the Civil Affairs Unit. Before he left he was so kind to me and made me feel like I was his life. He wrote me beautiful letters about how he wanted to be the best husband ever. He came back cold, unemotional and treats me like I do not exist. He is chomping at the bit to go back in 2008. He eats drinks and sleeps war. He is 41 yrs old and now a Master Sgt. He is slotted unless things change to go back over October of 2008 for another year. We now have a 2yr old and I work fulltime and have chronic pain issues with my spinal cord and in need of a third surgery. Doing it all will be hard enough on me let alone having to deal with him again coming back worse. We have tried 3 different counslers and the last one ruled ptsd out. So I guess I have no idea what to do anymore.
I rambled on there since I have so much I could say. I just do not know what to do. He doesnt drink or anything like that, he isn't abusive just cold. He doesnt treat me like he loves me and honestly cannot remember anything I say. It is if I do not exist. I am to the point of believing he had an affair over there and that is not his nature so the and i figure he is having a hard time forgiving himself thus taking everything out on me. It is all my fault. He tells me if I did this or that then he would'nt be doing what the did. He blames Larium on his memory and that is bs because he remembers what he wants. I just am at my wits end. I do not want a divorce but I have no idea how to get to him besides kick him out and let him know how it will feel to be alone and not see his son everyday.
Any suggestions would be welcome.