Re: I think I have to walk away. I'm petrified.
Tyger - I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly. I know how hard it can be, and it surely is even harder without the support of really good friends around. We all need support, someone to talk to, a shoulder to lean on once in a while. If you are a full time student, can you check with student services and see if they provide any kind of counseling at their health center. Do you have any kind of health coverage through your college?
But if it's any help, I do think you are most definitely making the right decision. You learned a big lesson here, you learned never ever to give your heart to a man who starts out by saying "I'm not ready for a relationship" because as we get older, we learn that all that really means is "I don't want a relationship with you." I don't think this guy is a bad guy, just a guy. He thought he was telling you all you needed to know when he said that, and inadvertently led you on a bit. But if you really just can't handle ending the romantic part of the relationship and staying friends, then you need to let yourself heal and cut off contact.
If it were me, I wouldn't even bother contacting him at all ever again. My guess is, you'll never hear from him again. No sense in putting yourself through the drama and emotional upheaval of confronting him or telling him how hurt you are. I'm sorry if it's hard to hear, but the truth is, he probably won't care at all. He'll probably just chalk you up to being some psycho bi*ch who went nuts and lost perspective. Men don't understand all the things we go through when they do this to us, and they don't really care. It will only cause you more pain to bare your soul to him and have him still walk away. Right now your dignity is more important than getting anything off your chest, because when it's all said and done, when you look back on this, you won't remember what you said in any rant to him, but you will remember whether you held your head up and moved on or not. Emotional disconnection, as much as you can muster as soon as you can muster it, is what you need right now. If he does call you or text you, you must stick to your guns. You dont' need to be mad, you don't need to get emotional. Remember, men don't understand or get that, and they don't care how hurt they've made you or how upset you are. Just tell him calmly and cooly that you don't feel it's working out. You need someone who is ready for a relationship and you need to move on. You still have feelings for him so you don't think it would be a good idea to remain friends until you have gotten over him. And hang tough. Don't go back to give him another chance to break your heart. Please trust me, as someone who gave in to those insticts to tell him everything, get everything off my chest, show him how hurt I was, blah blah blah. It DOESN'T help to get closure or anything else. It just gives you another humiliation to have to live down. Your self respect and dignity is paramount now, doing yourself proud is much more important than venting, showing him how he hurt you, or any of that stuff. In the long run, it just doesn't matter. He'll move on and find someone else and you'll feel raw and exposed and embarrassed. It's just not worth it. Just delete his numbers and spend as much time with friends and family as you can, not to talk about him, but to just enjoy their company and have fun and get on with the business of living your life and making his role in it smaller and smaller till it's gone.
Last edited by Larrylou'smom; 09-02-2007 at 11:12 AM.