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Old 09-02-2007, 11:09 AM   #5
happymom28 happymom28 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
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Re: I think I have to walk away. I'm petrified.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tyger~
I have tried contacting a few times, not obsessively, but have not recieved replies.
This is the sign that you need to stop calling him hon. As hard as it is for you you are torturing yourself hoping this guy is going to pick up or call you back.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tyger~
I talked to him very briefly yesterday online, and he said he was going to a 'going away drinks' night for his friend, and that he'd call me after and if I wanted to I could come over and have a drink with him and our mutual friends (his roommates, and a few others). No call. The night went on, and I txt him, called him once... no replies. Its now getting towards late afternoon today, and I haven't heard so much as a peep as to what in the world happened.
I risk sounding mean here, but he made those "plans" with you so he could stop talking to you have you waiting for his call instead of you calling him constantly and him having to avoid it. He isn't going to call or email you. I don't know any other reason than "he just isn't that into you". You are far more into him and he knows it and is using it to his advantage.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tyger~
But this lump in my throat and the constriction in my chest is just not healthy. I hate always feeling this way. To leave him is to end a fantastic friendship
How are you ending a "fantastic friendship? He sounds like a jerk! He only calls you when it suits him. Now that is doesn't look how quickly you have been forgotten. You may think you have this great connection and all, but to him you were someone to pass the time with until something better came along. I'm sorry if what I am saying has hurt your feelings, but any true friend or a guy who is truly interested in you would NOT treat you this way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Tyger~
I'm not sure how I'm going to walk away. If I should say something, or just leave. If there's even point in trying to talk to him, tell him how much he's hurt me. I wonder if he even knows? Cares? Would it make him feel any different? That he has become my world in the past year.. and leaving is about as hard as ripping off my own limbs.
You need to walk away. You don't have to say anything to him, especially since he probably won't care anyway. Don't risk him twisting the knife he has already stuck into you. You are already hurt enough. Let it go, let him go, let your mutual friends go (if you have to) and move on with your life.

It seems that you are affraid of being alone that is why you are accepting this substandard treatment. Until you realize that you deserve a certain level of respect in a relationship you will continue to accpet this treatment over and over again.

You said that you are in school full-time and can't afford a professional therapist, so why don't you talk to the school's health facility and see if they have someone on staff that you can talk to or can give a referal for a discounted rate because you are a student. It may also do you some good to sign up for some sort of "extra-curricular" thing that you are interested in. This will give you a way to build your confidence and meet new people. Do you have any interests that you could get into?

You're not lost tyger, you are just going through a rough patch. I know you said you don't have a great relationship with your family, but perhaps there is something in there that you can start with. We are always here to listen, but I know that it's not the same. Taking what crumbs this guy gives you is only going to make your self esteem worse and worse. You deserve so much more. Don't forget that!