Re: I think I have to walk away. I'm petrified.
Wanted to read and reply... but I have to rush off to work. From perusing very quickly, I saw some significant remarks. Especially about the fact that I need to rely on myself more, and not need others to constantly hold me up. I think this is very true. Will post more on this later.
Brief update is that he did in fact contact me after I posted. He called and apologised, saying he'd been feeling very unwell before he went out, told his roommate to leave the address so he could meet them later, and then ended up sleeping through. My friend confirmed all this. He didn't go anywhere that night. I was wrong. When he called he asked if he could come over to see me and I said that I was busy and not today, and he was fine with that, told me to take care and he'd talk to me during the week. Really, I just needed time alone to think. And thats where it all stands.
Its all very telling that I immediately jumped to all the wrong conclusions about Saturday night, and freaked out, isn't it? I'm not in a fantastic position, or mind-set, obviously. But really, he hasn't done anything wrong. I feel stupid, and wary.