I feel I am being psychologically abused...am I unreasonable?
I really need some advice on this one. I'm not sure what constitutes abuse here, I don't want to offend any one going through anything worse, but I just can't handle my marriage any more.
I've only been married about a year. My husband is constantly telling me he hates me and he only married me because he felt guilted into it. When I say something about it, he says he was joking. We fight constantly, and he tells me he's the only one that could put up with me because I'm such a (insert nasty name here). He doesn't let me go out with friends, and when I mention it he'll just get angry really fast and tell me the house isn't clean enough. Last week he slapped me in the face at a restaurant and then laughed and said it was a joke. I am still so embarrassed by it, and when I talk to him he said he was only kidding and I take things too seriously.
The thing is, I still love him so much, and I can't make myself leave. I feel like I'll regret it. i've been with him for 7 years (married for 1), and I don't know if I'm just used to him or if I still love him. He's always so nice for a few days after we fight that I kind of live for those moments, it's all I have.
So I'm not sure of my next step. I'm afraid to leave. I feel like I'm walking out instead of working on it. He flatout refused to talk to a marriage counselor, so that route is out. Right now he is in one of his happier moments, but I still feel miserable, like it is wearing on me to go through this constantly. I need help, and he won't let me leave to go see a therapist, so i'll sneak these in.
Thanks everyone, I hope you all have a wonderful day. Take care.