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Old 10-17-2007, 10:57 PM   #2
kr045 kr045 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 37
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Re: I feel like a horrible person

I don't know about in your area, but most areas have a caregiver support network at little to no cost. You can have someone come out for a while and just sit with your mom, read to her, play games, watch tv, whatever she's interested in and you can take a break. I used to go sit at a park for an hour or two, or even just go take a hot bath that lasted an hour or two every so often. It sounds like you need to do something for you. As for that "friend," if your mom is of sound mind, ask her honestly what's going on. She may not give you an honest answer, but if you sit down with her and discuss how upset the friend made you (and sounds like understandably so), she may think twice next time if it so happens that she did say or do something that caused the friend to act like that. Either way, the friend had no right to go off on you. If that friend honestly felt you were putting your mom in danger in some way, you'd think she would have called the appropriate authorities, not have gotten in your face. If all else fails, try to deal with the friend the best you can if that's all your mom really has other than you. Maybe try talking with the friend, keeping your own feelings of rage to yourself until after she leaves, and talk calmly no matter what. Ask the friend what prompted her outburst and explain to your friend that if you didn't care about your mom, you wouldn't be there with her or be talking with the friend to find out what's going on in the first place. Caregiving is hard work, it's a full time job all on it's own, plus some because of the emotions it causes. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't have anything left for anyone else.

Just to suggest what to look for in the way of assistance, here it's called "Center for the aging" and they're WONDERFUL!

Good luck.