I understand what you are saying when you say you want your mom to be in perfect health. I'm sure my 2 sons, my grandchildren and my husband would echo your sentiments. However, each one of us must take what we are given and make the most of every situation. If it will help, I HONESTLY have to say that I have more inner peace and joy now than I ever did before I was diagnosed with stage IV cancer -- truly! Yes, I do want to be completely healed from this hideous illness, but if God decides it is my time to go...I'm ready. I would not have said that even 15 months ago. Please read my story if you have time.
You will get over your inital shock and grief over this...you really will. If the diagnosis is, indeed, cancer just be there for her if she wants to cry, be mad, whatever. Cook for her if she doesn't feel like it. These may sound like little things, but they mean so much to us cancer folks.
My family and I laugh a lot, do fun stuff, and spend a lot of time together just enjoying each other. I appreciate them more and they appreciate me more. They don't like it when I cry, though (they're men - lol). However, I tell them that usually my tears are tears of joy and thankfulness. If my youngest grandson sees me cry he always says "happy tears, right grandma?" My response is always "yes, happy tears Robert!"
It will get better...it really will. I don't know what your feelings are about religion, but I have hundreds of folks who pray for me every day and have been for 14 months now. I really think that is the main reason I'm doing so well. I've really learned how to pray for others (as well as myself) too.
God bless you!
Originally Posted by kjellstrom
thanks so much, heidismom. we are still waiting and hope to hear something within the next couple days - this is agonizing. while we are hoping for the best, i know in my heart it is not going to be good - fungating and friable are not benign ways to describe a tumor, sadly. i just don't know which step to take next - i want my mom to be in perfect health and want to make sure we do everything right, you know? thanks again and i wish you the very best of health and all the love in the world.