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Old 11-02-2007, 10:27 AM   #14
4evaN6 4evaN6 is offline
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(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: NJ USA
Posts: 13
4evaN6 HB User
Re: I quit quitting. I have accepted the fact that I will always be a pill junkie.

I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time...I totally "get it", I am only on my first week without my pain meds (today is day 7) and I am going it alone (no rehab, no doctors and hiding it from my friends/family/work).

I think it is easy for people who have had an addiction (like those on this board) to understand...but not so easy for people who have never experienced it. It makes you feel ashamed to admit it to them and get the help that you need. Someone here mentioned to tell your Mom (that your Mom may already know), but from my personal experience...that all depends on your situation. When I was 19, I had a serious cocaine habit (about an 8 ball a day) and my Mother walked in on me while I was cutting it with a razor on a huge mirror...she left the room and told my sister that she thought I was "trying to kill myself". Huh? My Mom is pretty naive and never drinks, much less had any sort of drug experience...she didn't even see it right in front of her face. So now, years later, I have a kid of my own...how in the world could I explain my pill popping to her? It's not so easy...

Find someone you trust to confide in...it doesn't matter who that is as long as they can support you (whatever decision you make). Nobody can tell you when it is the right time to quit...only you can do that. BUT, you cannot suffer through a time like this all alone. Please don't! If something were to happen to you...oh, I don't even want to think about it! Someone has to know...but it doesn't have to necessarily be a doc or rehab, just someone you can trust who can keep an eye out for you while you feel confused and cloudy. In the end, you'll make the right choice and everything will be ok...just remember that this is just a rough patch, you can get through it.

Let us know how your doing?