Thread: Where I am at
View Single Post
Old 11-06-2007, 09:06 AM   #4
trg247 trg247 is offline
Senior Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: ontario
Posts: 3,776
Blog Entries: 1
trg247 HB Usertrg247 HB Usertrg247 HB User
Re: Where I am at

Hi:

I am barely awake so this might be a neat trick

Hospilizations - 2 months - in a local psych hospital - last month - general hospital - pscyh floor - both in Sudbury. ODSP funding and multiple diagnosis rule out majority of so called treatment centers. Classified as a high risk difficult patient

Current- severe MDD, BPD, PTSD, GAD- If I try to push past certain points it is answered with severe nightmares, flashbacks, depression and self harm goes through the roof

- Very aware of my thought process that seems to be set in stone due to keeping myself safe. If the safe button is triggered I completly shut down and/or send a meassage that person needs to go away

- Career is in helping others in a psychology based field or it was - taken off of work due to suicidal ideations, high stress, high anxiety

- Last relationship (six plus years in length) ended due to me being all over the map on a mental level and basically scared her off - we have a young son together

- trust is right tied into the safety factor so I don't trust anyone to a high degree

- Guilt factor- I don't have any ghosts in the closet that I am responsible for. I have ended a number of relationships not in a nice way in a verbal fashion to I guess ensure the person does not come back to try again. Once a person crosses that imagineary line they are completly cut out of my life and 99 out of 100 they stay away

- Doctors believe once the depression is ever in check the BPD will start to recede to a more manageable level

thanks for the response
trg247

Last edited by trg247; 11-07-2007 at 09:22 PM.