Re: Where I am at
Suicidal ideation has been running through my head for a very long time and if I was going to take that route I would have done it a long time ago. My child is the reason why I fight so bloody hard for anything, I made a promise to him before he was born to be there every step of the way and I have no intention of breaking it no matter the hell I have to live through. Self harm has been a part of my life in one form or another since I was six or so.....everyone kept saying how bad I was so I tried to punish mysef to make myself good, cutting since I was thirteen and the longest period without it was a little over five years, I am now in my early thirties....well maybe not early. This is going to come out weird but self harm has been saving me for a very long time......it prevents me from going completly over the edge. I know I am not responsible or deserve what took place but I am very responsible to make sure no one has that opportunity to do it again. As for making people go away trust me they get the hint very quickly and I go away thinking they no longer exist. Problem is I don't really care what happens to me but I worry how what happens to me will effect others go figure.