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Old 11-17-2007, 10:05 AM   #1
Ishla Ishla is offline
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Location: North Central Texas
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Question Something I still don't understand...

Hi all,
I'm getting confused about a lot of the information that I've been reading here. The powers that be (Doctors, etc...) say that FM is not progressive, yet many post about it progressing, and give explicit details about how much it has progressed for them. I myself know for a fact that my symptoms have increased in severity over the years... the number of my symptoms has compounded almost monthly over the last 5 years, how can you NOT call that a progressive situation? Lately the posts have had references to becoming bedridden as the syndrome "progresses" on you. Some talk of recovering from being bedridden and wheelchair bound. Others talk about being to that point on a now permanent basis, that because they pushed themselves too hard, they became virtually completely disabled, unable to get around at all any more. They talk about the fact that their current level of disability came about when their bodies could no longer recover and were irreversibly damaged. Eeeeeek!!
I have been very guilty of pushing myself and flaring and resting, and stubbornly doing it to myself over and over. But what choice do you have... life has to be lived, and you have to do things that need to be done, with or without help and support from family and friends. I do my very best to take it easy on myself, and to rely on others (excruciatingly hard to do), but I still end up at the end of the day in agony and exhaustion. Just going to visit the family for the holiday season is nearly impossible at times due to constantly having to sit, instead of getting up to help prepare the meal (I love to cook... so it's nearly impossible for me to sit when there is something to be creative with in the kitchen) There's also the unyielding guilt to deal with about "just sitting there" while everyone else is bustling around laughing, and joking, and having such a wonderful pain free time. Don't get me wrong, my family is very loving and supporting (thank God) of my inability to move about a lot, but I still just can't "sit there" like a stump. Before this nasty syndrome took over my life, I was extremely active, worked like a man outdoors (groundskeepers at a golf course for 5 years is one of many accomplishments for me), hiked for miles just to see if something new was over that next ridge, and could lift and carry easily 3/4 of my own weight without so much as a grunt. Now I have a really hard time just lifting a 20# sack of flour.
So anyway... long winded and all here.... what is the final story? Am I doomed to being restrained to bed by a condition I sure as heck didn't ask for, or am I just being silly. No matter how gently I treat my body, it's still getting worse and worse... .. ..
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