Re: Please help me. im desperate.
From the years of panic attacks and anxiety i had and still occasional do get it i know it comes from deep with in your self esteem. I was convincing myself i was going to die and all it was terrible. simple things became a nightmare and i am still not over some of them.
it steemed from mental and psyical abuse form an ex with me. I felt worthless and out of control of even my own body. You dad putting you down is doing this also as put downs where the things that effected me. if your told something often enough you start to believe it and your brain dosnt want that.
Its like a big monster that lurks and you wonder when its going to get you again, where will you be,what if you do this and that and it sets it off. Its terrible i know. But the way i had to conquer this was not meds, meds made me worse as i was practically convinced meds where killing me and got some OCD's out of it. I still dont travel far in case i get one and get embarrassed. But i had to stand up to it, i force myself to do stuff and had to develop in my head self worth.
first thing i did was get away from nasty ex, was bloody hard as i felt i relied on him and couldnt do a thing with out him, maybe the case with your dad. Similar mental thoughts. I was scared to leave he house and go int a shop cause i wasnt confident i could even do that.
few years later i force myself ti stand there as i relise all the rest of the times nothing happened to me and it was only a matter of time before i was out of there and was going to be fine. Try and get away from people who put you down, get into loving yourself for you and find things you can be proud of.
onec you find achievements anything is possible.
I was afraid of everyone, not anymore. I wont let it get to me! your body is the only thing you can control in your life and how things work so start controlling it. I know this is hard and takes time but you will get there and come out a more understanding and head strong person.