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Old 12-10-2007, 02:35 PM   #1
tnman tnman is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: tn
Posts: 24
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worried and can't get over my fears of what clinic tech was talking about

hey there everyone. How is everyone doing? I haven't been on this forum in quite some time. I have followed the advice of you all and it has made a tremendous difference. But, I do have one lingering thought that I seem to not be able to get out of my head. As you all know, I tested way too much. I tested at the 1 month, 2 month and 3 month mark, and then came back and tested at the 11 month mark, 3 times in one week... all negative. Anyway, I guess I still have one little thing that is nagging at me. After the first test I took at the 11 month mark, , this is the test that was laid on the scanner and scanned so that I could have the image sent to my e mail. Anyway, this is the scanned image that looked a bit different than what it looked in person. The little line wasn't lined up perfectly centered in between the C area. Anyway, the next day I called and went back for another test.. the test result was also negative and the little line wasn't perfectly centered in between the triangles either.. Anyway, one thing that sticks in my mind... is.. The lady who performed my test was also the same one as before... Anyway, we were talking after she checked the negative box on the form and signed her name and told me I was finished with testing.. I was talking about why I was back getting tested again and that I thought the little lines were supposed to be centered up perfectly between the triangles.. Anyway, as I was talking, she made the comment.. and it went something like this "that's why I was concerned".... I really didn't think that much about it at the time... but I think subconciously this is what has been buried deep inside me... Anyway..... before I took this second test... When I had called back to the clinic on Monday after I saw the photo of my scanned test... the clinic tech and her boss, both kept screaming at me over the phone that I was negative and didn't need anymore testing.. and the boss told me he was looking at my test result and it was negative.... NO way, NO How, did I have anything to worry about after 11 months.. Anyway.. on the next day, Tuesday..when I tested again that is when she made the remark...Anyway... I guess this one sentence about "concern" has me thrown a bit... it didn't make any sense.... I called her back a few days later and she told me that she never was concerned then and wasn't concerned now.... I have explored every avenue with this sentence.. "That is why I was concerned"... Did she mean, she was concerned about the line at the control C area not lined up perfectly, or did she mean she was concerned about ME and not the tests... concerned about why I was acting like I was acting.... testing again...Anyway.... can someone here help me with this... I think I have just about gotten over it. I went back to the clinic exactly one week after my test and talked to everyone about my tests and I also gave them a big donation to cover my tests.. The lady clinic tech kept telling me over and over that I WAY OVERRRRRRRRRRRRR negative and that I was finished testing "IT IS OVER" ... just to be careful.... and use protection from here on out.... The other clinic tech who told me tthat I was negative and to go have Starbucks... was also there... The clinic manager was there and I told him I never doubted their test results... but I was worried about the line not lining up perfectly... he said they had never messed up a test before and to stop worrying... Anyway.. it was a joyous atmosphere... Ok.. back up to now.. if anyone here can make any sense of my worry about what the one clinic tech said days earlier... I would really appreciate it...I have just about moved on with my life.. It is just this one thing that is still nagging...Here below is the one part of this post that maybe some of you can help me figure out... or... does it even matter.....???

Anyway, we were talking after she checked the negative box on the form and signed her name and told me I was finished with testing.. I was talking about why I was back getting tested again and that I thought the little lines were supposed to be centered up perfectly between the triangles.. Anyway, as I was talking, she made the comment.. and it went something like this "that's why I was concerned".... I really didn't think that much about it at the time... but I think subconciously this is what has been buried deep inside me... Did she mean that she was concerned about ME, and not the test..... concerned about the way I was acting and worrying over nothing........

God bless you alll and I would appreciate your help....

Last edited by tnman; 12-12-2007 at 12:28 PM.