warning: my son is a very sensitive area so if you choose to respond to this post please keep him out of it as much as possible. I made the comparison so there is no reason for anyone else to do the same. Thanks
Not sure what comparison you're referring to, so here goes....if it's not good, skip over it, and I'm sorry.......
I don't think that being sick, makes anyone a bad parent.
I believe that children get frightened whenever a parent gets sick...even if it's with the flu.
You are taking a conscientious, and responsible approach regarding the best way to deal with the situation between you and your son.
You are doing what you think is best for his wellbeing, rather than what you would really like to do.
You have a deep desire to be there for your son, and make sure he is always safe. And so you shall.
I don't believe, that when it comes to the point of jumping into the pit or not, that you would do it.....I believe that you will seek help, no matter how disgusted you are with the medical profession, because you really do hate how you feel, and since you're gonna be here for some time....it would be nice to feel better, while you're here.
ok,.....you may not want to read this.....prepare yourself if you are going to read it.
My Dad was hospitalized many times over the years....he was bi-polar I, and apparently had bad depressive bouts, that he would lock himself in the bed room, and not come out for days. I don't remember this...I was too young. I didn't know about many of the hospitalizations, or the ECT treatments, until after he died.
I have sat and thought, numerous times, about whether I was better off not knowing, or, if I would have felt better, had I known, and been able to visit him in the hospital.....when I got older.
I honestly believe that it was better for both of us, that I didn't know everything that was going on, until I was 18. I think it would have been gut wrenching on both sides.
I know that you wish things weren't the way they are....but....life sucks.
My bet is, that you will become the Dad that you want to be. I think your will is too strong to settle for anything less.
Take care, Terry......