We are not here to judge you!! pretty much everybody here has abused something and that's why we are here to support eachother. I was on tramadol also and tapered off of it. It was hell on earth!! I don't know much about Sub but from the sounds of it you will need to be under a doc supervision with the amounts you are on. You need to prepare yourself for a long road...it's not easy but you can do it. Good Luck!!