Re: commitment phobic? a bit long
I don't think you have a problem You have only had two serious relationships, one of which started when you weren't over the first yet. That is never a good sign.
My advice is to go out and have fun. Date but don't get tied down to one girl right away. I'm guessing you really haven't had a chance to do that since you said the last time you were single you were still talking to your ex so you didn't "feel single".
When you do finally meet the one that you think is right for you don't rush into anything. Take your time to get to know her and live apart. Don't see eachother every day so that you still have time for your friends, families, and other interests. If you don't make your whole life revolve around the relationship then you won't resent them for it.
Oh, and stop spying on the exgirlfriend via "that website". I'm convinced she is trying to run it in your face that she is still able to go out and have fun and probably thinks you are checking. You need to get over her and the relationship and watching her every move isn't going to allow you to let that happen.