Thread: Blew Up
View Single Post
Old 04-14-2008, 05:37 PM   #3
seta37 seta37 is offline
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Raleigh, NC, USA
Posts: 32
seta37 HB User
Re: Blew Up

Well... it sounds like you may have some good points... but!
You said it yourself that you never said anything...
If he is indeed the sweet guy you say he is... just ask!
Most men have no problem with being TOLD what to do! (sometimes you can't ask! WE FORGET!)
So it seems like you may have some self-confidence/image problems if you aren't willing/able to communicate.

It takes A LOT of effort for you to tell him even small things, right?
FIGHT IT!
My stepmom is like that... she has to tell my dad ANYTHING that I do that might upset her, and then she explodes, and it's absolutely repulsive.
That's why I couldn't stay there.

For whatever reason, you feel like you can't talk to your man.
It could be that you have a bad image of yourself... or him... or both.

Has he ever reacted violently to anything you've told him?
Does he get defensive or uncommunicative?
Does he intentionally hurt your feelings if you ask him things/try to talk to him?

If you can answer "yes" to those... then HE needs some work.
If "no", then it's you.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but that's the way it is.
I don't mean "let him have it" whenever he does anything wrong, but try to be proactive.
If you feel angry or strained because of something... just tell him.
Say "honey, I'm kind of upset that you don't help me do this"
And leave it at that... don't think about it any more or less, and don't try to explain yourself.
Chances are... he'll ask questions in return.
And chances are, if you just ask him (or tell him) to do something, he will.