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04-16-2008, 11:44 AM
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Oak Hill, VA
Re: Blew Up
I'm a +20 retired AF wife and we moved 8 times in those years. And my hubby needed a baseball bat to see what needed to be done. Men are just programmed different that women.
If you want help from him, the silent treatment isn't going to work, and neither is expecting him to just automatically "know" what needs to be done. That's like expecting your preschooler to be able to cook dinner for the family every night.
What you are going to do is to say "dear, I need to have this done by______." Then set a time that is generous enough for the task. If there is no big rush, tell him so. If it is a priority, tell him and tell him why.
Give him a choice. Just like you give kids a choice. Do you want broccoli or brussel sprouts? Give him a choice of tasks. Then it is his to own and do.
For the move-you need to tell him you can't get this done alone and you need his help to get everything packed up to move. Could he please pack up.......... You get the picture.
Try this and you will find that you spend less time arguing and more time getting things accomplished. It took me several years of marriage to figure this out...and I'm a social worker to boot!
Good luck. appologise and give him a big hug and kiss.
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