Re: it got worse,
It is important to see self harm like any other addiction. To reach the release point it is going to take more and more damage as our tolerance level keeps getting higher and higher. About six months back I scared myself as the cutting was just not doing it anymore so I was considering taking a hammer to my hand but thankfully something kicked in so I did not go through with but I did realize how large this problem has become and it was enough to make me stop for quite some time.
I have been self harming off and on for over two decades and everytime I stop for awhile and then for whatever the reason return to it the damage level reaches the danger level way too quickly which I realize so I work harder to stay away from it. Yes I still have slips here and there but I know I need to get it into check quickly before my cutting sessions start to resemble a suicide attempt.
Self harm is something I have used for the majority of my life to get rid of the unwanted emotions that I allowed to build inside and to feel like I am still alive but I also know it can potentially kill me if the razor goes to far. Now I use sites like this to just let everything out so they can not accumulate and have various tools i use to get past the urges. But when the relapses or slips happen I do not take it as a failure but a bump in the road and I know the faster I get back on the recovery train the better off I will be.
Major Depressive Disorder With Psychotic Features
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
Generalized Anxiety Disorder