Re: Clean but Depressed PLEASE ADVISE
OMG, we were on the same drug and have about the same sobriety length. I didn't use Sub, I tapered. today I called my doctor (who is no longer - she went on to more nobler things like community health clinics) and basically broke down in tears. the crappy part is...she can't prescribe anything for me (she had me on Wellbuterin and Ativan, with enough to get me through the next few months) to change the medication because she's technically not my doc.
For the last week, I got through work ok because it's very factory- like repetitious and made me feel good actually. But I have noticed I don't want to go anywhere for lunch. I just want to crawl under the desk and die for an hour.
Today my poor wife tried to get me to go to dinner/movies with kids and I just helplessly looked at her and said, "I just can't..." I ended up calling a fellow Vet who I knew would understand. I just got get through it. i'm trying to stay busy and did weed whack our yard. I'm trying. I'm just so depressed, though.
Doc did theorize that the narcotics may have been masking a different issue, so she's glad I'm going to the EAP therapist, who is very focused on the death of my mother and loss of my doctor. I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
But I'm thinking of you --- you're not alone.