Re: Clean but Depressed PLEASE ADVISE
I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. Is therapy something that is an option for you? Perhaps you and hubbs can join in together?? Some folks don't like the idea of therapy, but with all that you have been through, it seems that IMHO, you really need some help with some coping skills.
Though I'm not an addict, and it seems very easy for me to say, I live the other side of the addict life, having lost one brother to alcohol, and having a 2nd very near deaths door. Both were/are stubborn as heck when it comes to the therapy issue. My family has undergone counseling till we're blue in the face. I've recently set up some new sessions due to the issues I'm facing with my current brother that won't put the bottle down, and just doesn't care. I'm angry as hell at him, and where it's going to lead him. It's almost as if he HAS a death wish.
I know you want to be healthy, but to be healthy completly, includes not only the body, but the mind as well. As I said, (and I'm sure you well know, because you live it every day!) you've been through some major trauma in your life, and therapy could help you on a path to becoming healthy again in both mind and body.
Perhaps the hubbs will embark with you on a path to bringing your old self back with the help of an excellent counselor. Some folks don't even want to talk about Counseling, and/or their significant other want to have nothing to do with this (IMHO) important part of the recovery process.
Just some food for thought. You may already be in counseling, I don't know, and I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I just really feel for you, and wanted to make the suggestion. I hope I haven't offended you by doing so.
I will keep you in my thoughts, as well as your family. Believe me, I know where you are coming from, at least in the perspective of being someone who has lost my best friend in the not too distant past due to drugs, and watched her slip away. She wouldn't let anyone "in", and it's very hard from the outside looking in. Communicate with your hubbs.
You are doing a WONDERFUL job in your soberity, no matter how much it sucks. It WILL get better, it just takes some time to "re-wire" the brain to get used to life without all those chemicals. Keep the chin up, remember where you've come from, and keep those goals you have lined out. You WILL get there. It might not be on the schedule you had hoped for, and it might not be the easiest ride, but you have great strength and you CAN do this.
Much luck, take care.
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Last edited by SpinalMalady; 05-05-2008 at 06:15 AM.