yep.... i can totaly relate to the watching someone else. Most of the time when I cut I can't even feel it anymore. I just do... and it is like watching someone else cutting. crazy. If you ever come with some ideas on how to stop let me know cause I am coming to the point where I don't think I will ever get help. And when I do reach out people either don't talk about it with you because its such a taboo subject or they are like well i have never struggled with and its such a broad topic that I just don't know what to tell you. and its annoying. so if you ever come up wtih something, you should let me know.