| | A roller coaster ride
I am a recovering addict and have been bipolar for most of my adult life. I have tried meds that never seemed to continue working, Risperdal, lexapro, prozac, lithium, etc. Unfortunately I always turned to self medication which brings me to where I am now, a recovering addict. While in treatment I was put on Seroquel, which I hate. First off I have gained so much weight I can't stand myself, you talk about depression. Since being on the Seroquel, although it does put me to sleep, I have been in such a depressed state, missing work, isolating, missing meetings. The seroquel makes me feel groggy, unenergetic, and at night after taking it, I feel like I have restless leg syndome and 1/2 stoned out of my mind. I went to a pdoc and told her how it made me feel on 100 mg, I went in with it in my mind I was going to refuse to take it, I told her I wanted something else, but I get so intimidated I end up doing what they want me to do against my better judgement.
she wanted me to taper up until I got to 600mg, I refused. She did start me on lamictal, but that is such a slow taper up, I have not noticed any difference in the past 2 weeks. I am very nervous, I am afraid that if something doesn't give I will go back to self medicating w/ alcohol and/or drugs. I am so sick of the roller coaster ride. I don't feel I have it in me to go through a hit or miss until she finds a cocktail that actually works. I know if I don't take the seroquel I could be up for days, it is a no win situation. I am going back to the pdoc Wednesday, and I know meds work different for everyone, but I was wondering what has worked for some here. I am thinking of asking for tegretol. Do I ask what I should take, or should I tell her what I would like to try. I have done some research on meds and I don't want to be on anti psycotics anymore, not worth the side affects. Thanks for listening. I have read many posts and you all seem like a great bunch of people, and as I read your posts I say to my self that it me, I found people who know what I am feeling, it is so cool. Well anyway thanks again