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Old 06-07-2008, 10:39 PM   #5
sweetxtc4me sweetxtc4me is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: canada
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sweetxtc4me HB User
Re: A roller coaster ride

I hear you loud and clear >>> i so understand you becuz you are going through almost exactly the same thing as me! I am 34 yrs old and since the age of 19 yrs old i have seen about 5 psychiatrist and 13 psycologists and i have been diagnosed as being adhd/anxiety disorder/agaraphobic/panic disorder and most recent as of 5 yrs ago now bipolar, and i have been on almost every antipsycotic and antidepressant or mood stabalizer and sleeping pills>>>

my recurring problems are as follows>>> severly depressed/rapidly manic/agaraphobic at times/high anxiety and bad insomnia but what insomnia isnt bad lol! Anyways i started taking seroquel on and off for the past 5 yrs for my sleeping problems and to help regulate my mood swings but all it does is give me vivid nightmares about my children and people close to me and it is soooooo damn real i almost believe it is real, also i feel so groggy in the morning and pretty much all day and that makes me even moodier>>>

go figure cant win! And i am so severly depressed still i am ready to just throw in the towel, but i have kids i cant and i dont want to go to a darker place!!!! I stopped all my meds in jan/2008 becuz of stomach heartburn and the nightmares but the insomnia and depression got so bad i had to start seroquel again and beg the doctor to let me try prozac becuz i havent tried it yet and maybe it will work, something has to give! I have only been on prozac for 4 days so just a few weeks to go to find out woohoo! In the meantime i also smoke pot to take the edge off and eat. I was addicted to cocaine for the last 3 yrs when a family crisis happened and i was hooked up until jan/2008 the only way i got rid of the psysical craving was i prayed to GOD everyday and night and it took a few mths but now the craving is pretty much gone so i believe praying and believing in GOD does help alot so if i can give any advice to anyone here it is to believe in GOD becuz i know GOD is who kept me alive and stood by my side since i was afflicted with my illness GOD wouldnt bring you to it if he couldnt get you through it!!! Hope my story to keep trying helps at least 1 person!!!