Re: giving it another try
Hi Pingeye 2,
Congrats on getting back on the suboxone, its a good sign that you keep going back on it, that you want to be clean and have the best life you can. I went off it as well, thought i would be OK.... I was so convinced that I was strong enough, and determined enough. What I (and I've heard this from many others,) failed to remember is that addiction is a disease, you have your whole life. It doesn't leave you, and can progress even while you are clean. I was shocked and baffled at my own self, thinking I knew myself, at how quickly I relapsed. Its like the disease had a mind of its own. I had no control over it, it owns a certain part of my brain, and is very sneaky, scamming, and manipulative. This disease will work on getting back what it needs to grow rapidly, without you're even being aware of it! Thats how I feel anyway. Its pretty scary, but with support, and constant care, you can be OK.
I go to AA meetings, (I just don't tell them about my percoset trouble, sometimes in my experience they just want to stick to alcohol, but still, addiction is addiction. ) I look at these meetings as my "medicine". And most of the time after I take my "medicine" I feel better, and know I will be OK for 1 more day, only taking 1 day on in my mind. Its important to take care of youself! Like you would with any other disease. Perhaps you could find some meetings outside of where you live.... they really are anonymous, and so supportive. Glad you're back on track! I wish you the best.... and by the way, Go Celts!!! Sherbear38 in Foxboro, MA