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Old 06-26-2008, 12:55 AM   #2
wishicouldhelp wishicouldhelp is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Re: want to help a friend who has lost a child-

Nobody has any suggestions? or maybe no one wants to even touch this situation with a ten foot pole?? I know it's really long, and like I said before, I really hope I don't come off as harsh or uncaring. I have done everything I can possibly think of, to support her, and love her, and help her to realize that this girl is always going to be in our hearts and our memories. I know sometimes we only need someone to "listen", however, its really hard to convey how she comes off sometimes, and that is what makes it so difficult to handle at certain times in my own life. I have "trauma's" and things that are going on in my life that are important to me, but I also want to continue to be here and support her------it does even have to be a 50-50 thing-----even a little 80-20 would be okay.
Maybe this is more of a "relationship" board thing, but it deeply involves death, dying, and the grieving process, which is why I posted here. Maybe the lack of response is my answer, and I am being too harsh, and I just need to contine to feel the way I feel, but just continue to support her and be quiet about my emotions and my fears due to the situation in my life, revolving around my dying Grandmother.
I think part of my issue, is I am slightly hurt, b/c she made a comment one time, when someone at work had an elderly relative pass away, that, "that is sad, but at least they were old, and had led a full life, and didn't die at 14"........trust me---i completely understand that she has some bitterness-----but that does not make anyone else's loss any less painful for the person who is experiencing it at the time. Do I make sense here? Has anyone else ever had that presented to them, in that manner?
Do you think, b/c my Grandmother is 80, she doesn't warrant a sadness from those in my family who have loved her all our life??? And we are watching her suffer? She wants to live to be 100---and thats just not going to happen-----BUt I love her all the same, and when she does leave this Earth for her Heavenly destination, I will miss her, and in my world, it will be a terrible loss.

oh, well---I just thought if i gave a little more input, it might help someone to speak up. If you aren't interested in responding, that is completely fine, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this message.

Many blessings to all those who are grieving and have experienced losses in their lives.