View Single Post
Old 07-08-2008, 08:01 AM   #1
mannie8 mannie8 is offline
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 205
mannie8 HB User
He can't deal with my cats...

My BF has always had a looming problem with my cats. For whatever reason, they have never liked him. They have always had a problem with people outside of me, they are scaredy cats. My BF takes it personally. He just can't get over it. It bothers him to no end that they don't like him. They started off hissing at him which caused him to react like an {removed} and chase them out of the room or things like that. This has snowballed and escalated. Eventually my girl cat accepted his presence and stopped hissing and acted normal around him. But the other one still hates him. He howls and sometimes pees himself anytime my BF gets near him. It's awful. I understand my cat has a behavioral problem, but my BF just won't back off, no matter how many times I ask him to. He says I am choosing the cats over him and I'm more concerned with their comfort level than his. We argue about it ALL the time. I just think that he should be the smart one of the bunch and not provoke them to the point where it's going to turn into a situation that upsets me. I don't like seeing my cats in such a state of terror whenever he is near. He just pushes it though, saying it will only help them get used to him, it's good for them, I shelter and baby them, etc. UGH!
Anyway we moved into a new home last week and Sunday was the first day the cats arrived. We decided to put them into an empty bedroom so they wouldn't be overwhelmed with the whole house. I visited them Sunday night by myself, went to bed, fed them Monday morning and went to work. When I got home from work my BF suggested we go in to visit them together. (They do a lot better around him as long as I'm there). I didn't want him to go in, but if I said no it would have turned into an argument, so I reluctantly agreed. First thing that was odd was the door was locked. I know I didn't lock it and he said he didn't know why it was locked either. OK...so we unlocked and went in. It WREAKED like one of the cats missed the litter box. On top of that the ceiling fan was on and I remember turning it off before I left. I looked at him and asked if he had been in there while I was at work. He said No. Then I noticed other things that weren't the way I left them...their blankets were moved, their water bowl had been knocked into and spilled, both cats were in their carriers and wouldn't come out. I asked him again if he had been in there. He insisted he hadn't. I told him he had to of because these things weren't the way I left them. I pointed out the water bowl - he said they always knock it over. I pointed out the fan was on - he said he looked in and it smelled so he turned on the fan. This just wasn't adding up....Then I noticed that the door to one of the cat's carriers was on backwards and pretty much broken. So I started to get upset b/c he was hiding something from me. He finally told me that he had been in there to try and play with the girl. He wouldn't explain the door on the carrier. He said if he told me that I would get upset b/c I don't agree with the way he handles the cats. I persisted and demanded he tell me what happened. He wouldn't say much, then began to get upset with me b/c I wouldn't drop it. I left the room to cool off and clean up the mess in the room. That's when I noticed blood spots on the carpet and wall. {removed} So again, I go to him and say I have just one question...why is there blood on the carpet? He said I don't know. I had it. I said you know I don't know how I'm supposed to trust you when you can't be honest with me and went on a little rant about honesty and trust in a relationship. He said he lied and wouldn't tell me everything b/c he knew how I would react and he wanted to avoid a fight.

So I still have no clue what went on in that room. He isn't confessing and the cats can't talk. No one is limping, I can't find the source of the blood, they seem to be fine emotionally with me. But still I know the type of encounters they have had in the past and my BF has said to me at one time "you're lucky I don't have a gun".

I'm foolish for being in this relationship right? I feel so stuck!

Last edited by Moderator BAC; 07-08-2008 at 08:12 AM. Reason: If a word has to be asterisked it is not appropriate for these boards.