Re: Man wanting to take on the female role ...
The majority of transvestites are actually straight. There are some that dress up in the role of a woman and will practice anonymous sex with men and still identify as heterosexuals because in their fantasies, they are taking the place of the woman. Psychologists have said that these men like women to the point that they want to experience sex through their eyes. There is some debate about this, obviously, but as one popular gay advice columnist wrote, while having sex with another man is a gay act, he had to admit that no gay man would do that while dressed as a woman. Many more transvestites are exclusively into women, though.
I don't know the inner workings of it, but there are websites dedicated to it, if you're brave enough to look. It is more common than you think. My FIL is a closet cross dresser (I'd have never guessed--married, children, masculine, ex-army) my SO has had tendencies that we both explored for a while and then dismissed. (I admit to liking the kink of seeing a feminine man in such dress and with such qualities, but I like rugged men rugged, which he is.)
These guys often turn to strangers to satisfy their fantasies when they fear persecution at home. That kind of urge is not allowed in our society, so they live double lives. I can sympathize, but cheating is not excusable. In this case, your friend needs to be sure that he hasn't picked up anything nasty and given it to her. I can see why she'd want to "understand" for peace of mind, but she also needs to get out of there.
Edit: Also, the man the previously mentioned columnist was writing about was a famous politician, the typical conservative type that crusaded against gay rights. He was found with male prostitutes, dressed as a woman. It lends credence to the saying, the louder the homophobe...
Last edited by Lysander; 08-08-2008 at 06:50 PM.