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Old 08-20-2008, 02:51 PM   #13
skimps46 skimps46 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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Re: Dear ladies, I need a sympathetic ear.......

Dear Carsam,

My heart breaks for you with grandma. And I want to get this right out there - your guilty admission that you just want it to be over - I gotta tell you, my friend, it was HERE on this board that I first found the courage to say that about my dad.

Why in the hell WOULDN'T we want it over? The quality of life our loved ones have is exactly ZERO. They are precisely what they never wanted to be - a burden. Oh, that's not to say that we don't love them with all our hearts. I would take a bullet for my dad. I really would. He's my first thought in the morning, and my last at night. I spend 10 hours a day with him. And I chose this life -taking care of him -, and I don't regret it. But when he's drooling, or his nose is dripping on his shirt, or he looks at me through foggy eyes and says, "Now WHO are you?"...that is NOT life. My dad was the project superintendant for the Seattle Kingdome construction. From the ground up - had a zillion people under him, was a BRILLIANT man! Now, I wipe his butt.

So want it over? You bet. Took me a year not to feel guilty about that. Don't waste that much time on that guilt, carsam. It's normal, natural, and expected.

Now. About the GOOD news! A baby! Oh, how happy I am for you! And as the mother of four, the grandmother of two, I would like to get in line to be surrogate grandmother.

But. Carsam, you MUST take care of yourself. I know how much of this is on your shoulders. I do. But the "Let Go and Let God" mantra is a good one. He is bigger than you, my dear. He knows what's coming, and what will happen. And He sent you a new baby. He means for you to cherish every second of this pregnancy.

Grandma is in His hands, honey. Don't try to do His job for him. (Now if I could only take my own advice...*sigh*)

My love and prayers are with you...

...deb

 
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