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Old 09-02-2008, 07:11 AM   #1
cmpgirl cmpgirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: NY
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Brother in a Downward Spiral, Don't Know What to Do...

Hello everyone,

I'm a "regular" on the PM boards, and have never posted over here, but I really am in need of some help. My brother has been an alcoholic for over 25 years. He stopped drinking for about 10 years, back when his kids were younger, and he was still married to his Ex. The problem is, that the only reason he stopped and went to AA, was because his wife gave him an ultimatum. He has never believed or acknowledged that he has a problem.

Since his divorce, 3 years ago, he has been slowly increasing his alcohol consumption. For 2 years, he was in a relationship with someone who kept him on an even keel. Now this relationship has ended, and he has met another woman who is very obviously an alcoholic herself, and he has been heading downhill very quickly ever since.

My youngest niece (21) called me last night, in tears. She and her older sister are scared to death, because they can plainly see where their father is headed. They have both tried to express some concern to him, but he has just laughed it off, and refused to discuss it further. My niece asked him if he had told his therapist about this new relationship, and he said that he saw "no reason for his therapist to know about this, because she would probably be angry with him". So, I know he has some idea that what he is doing is not positive.

The girls want me to join them on Saturday (this week) to have a sort of "intervention". I have no problem doing this, as I love my brother and am extremely concerned myself, but I have never done something like this before, and I don't really know how to even begin. The last thing I want, is to make this situation worse. My brother is really a wonderful person, with a huge heart, and I know he loves his girls to death, and me too, but I know he just can't "see" through the alcohol and it has taken over his reasoning.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I was hoping that some of you might give me some advice. Are we doing the right thing? Is there something else we can say or do? I know that an alcoholic or an addict has to make the decision to become sober, themselves. And I understand that we can't make him see this. I just want to help, if there is any way that I can. Thanks for reading, and for any advice. God Bless CMP/MM