I was originally diagnosed as Schizoaffective Bipolar Type after being hospitalized 2 years ago for a severe manic/psychotic episode.
It took me over a year to come to terms with my diagnosis and understand that I truly do need meds to keep me relatively stable. One week I made the mistake of going off meds (because I felt "normal") and ended up manic, then depressed and eventually irritable. That experience taught me that I *do* need my meds in order to maintain some degree of stability.
Just recently I learned from my tdoc that my primary diagnosis has changed to BP1 with Psychotic Features Rapid Cycling with a secondary diagnosis of Schizoaffective Bipolar Type.
Sometimes it all seems so confusing and difficult to sort out. There are *still* days where I feel good and don't think I have BP1, Schizoaffective or need my meds.
However, eventually reality hits me hard (i.e. when I have a manic or depressive episode) and I once again come to terms with the fact that I have these disorders.
In my case, this is a process that will continue for the rest of my life and is something I'll have to deal with on a day to day basis.
dreams in neon
Bipolar 1 - Rapid Cycling