Hi 03catsmeow and welcome,
You've had a lot to get through but you did it and you should give yourself a pat on the back for surviving - I am glad that you found someone who can give you the love you deserve.
When my mum kicked my dad out (he was sexually abusive) she didnt tell us anything - he was just there shouting and screaming one day and gone the next - although he did come back many times - one of which he broke down our door - anyway i just put that down to being my fault - its hard when a parent of parents dont give a child the love and protection it deserves - it leaves a scar - it changes how we relate to people and because of that how they relate to us - you dont say if you are getting any help with all this? are you seeing a psychologist? I went to see one when I was attacked and he helped me a lot - he cant help with a lot of my childhood things because i have blocked them out - but i dont think i would be here today if i hadnt seen him and talked it out - and you will find that coming here and talking to people who can understand how you are feeling really helps - so come here and say what you are feeling and let us help you to help yourself