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Old 01-12-2009, 11:39 PM   #3
ProKarma ProKarma is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Illinois
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Re: need advice on how to cope with relatives after a loss

I can empathize with you both...
My dear Grandmother died three weeks ago and I can't get used to the fact that she is gone. To the extent that I've picked up the phone to call her - even to ask questions about grammar and usage/form as I wrote her obituary! I'm embarrassed to admit that to my family for fear they'll question my sanity --
The end was difficult as she suffered severe dementia - very much a departure from her intellectual superiority and life-long mental strength. I can't determine if this bothered me as witness (selfish) or due to my concern for her (she would have hated being seen as "out of it")...
My best to you as you deal with the family politics. I've found a small blessing in that I've been unable (unwilling) to dwell on most of the petty issues because I'm concentrating on working through the mourning.
Another potential grace provided is that I'm so numb; I've been unable to break down over losing my job on Fri. This is exactly the type of situation that would have had me in her living room, up until all hours of the night talking to her and Grandpa... Nothing better to set my perspective than to hear their success over 60+ years of trials and tribulations. How empowering it was to be reminded of the strong stock behind me as well as to have that boost of faith. I know I will make her proud if I pull from those moments and fortify myself - doing it though is a different story.
My best thoughts to you both as you deal with your difficult journey(s)---