Re: I'm 20, my mom passed. How to cope?
I am very sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my mom when I was 24 back in 1998. She was in the hospital for about 3 months so I didn't get to spend much time with her. She was not expected to die so no one was ready for what happened. I never got to say good-bye or even tell her how much she meant to me! It has been almost 11 years and I still grieve for her. I was married 1 year after she died so she was not at my wedding and didn't even know my husband. That hurts a little and always will.
One thing I suggest you do is keep remembering that whole 6 months you were given to spend w/her!! That time you had together is so priceless and those memories will help to get you through.
All those feelings you said you are having...I've felt all of them and at times, I still do. In the future all of the occasions(wedding, graduation, kids) that she is going to miss out on will bring you to tears, but you will also be so happy that it will not keep you down. The pain will get easier to deal with as the years go by, just keep remembering those precious 6 months you had. You might consider talking to a counselor. There was a period of time after my mom passed, when I was extremely depressed and just couldn't get back to myself. I was causing fights with my husband because I was so angry at the world and just wanted to explode on somebody. I found a woman counselor and went to her office every week, at one point she told me that I really needed to see a dr. for an anti-depressant, I refused but kept getting worse so I finally agreed. Once on the anti-depressant, I only took it about 6 to 8 months and then I was able to deal w/my grief w/out it. I still saw the counselor for a while. It sure helped to unload my feelings on someone.
I've been there, so I know that the things I've said above will not take the pain away but there really isn't any easy way to go through this. Just hang in there. The one person I really leaned on was the Lord, because I knew that he truley understood my pain.
I hope that at least some of what I have said helps. I am truley sorry and will pray for you. Please take care.