Re: My Story
marie1973: I was reading your post and my goodness, I can't tell you how much that sounded like I wrote it about my daddy. My father and I were extremely close as well, talked everyday and saw each other 2-3 times a week, he couldnt stand not being able to do the things he use to either b/c he simply had no energy. Although my father was only 65. But I know exactly what you mean about just doing the littlest things and just have to say "I miss my dad" I do that ALL the time...just the other day on the way home from church I cried and couldnt stop crying b/c he was on my mind and I felt him so much, my husband just sit in the drivers seat quiet and my mom was in the back crying with me saying "its okay, we all have our moments, let it out".....so I feel your pain as well.....
It is always hard to lose a parent, close or not close, my dad and sister had a rocky relationship for about 14 years and she misses him everyday, I dont know if in some ways hers is guilt for not being there but she still misses him. It is a pain we cant explain until it hits us...I too didnt cry so much at the viewing/wake b/c I felt my whole emotions and tears for the 5 days leading to that day prepared me, God protected me and my hurt as well. My dad went in an ambulance from my home (where him and mom stayed his last week of time at "home" )on July 4 2008 and God took my daddy July 9th after we told him it was okay to go, he said he didnt want to go but had no choice, with me and the rest of my family holding his hand, kissing his forehead and saying our "I Love You's" through our tears. I am only expressing my emotions b/c i know it helps others to know they arent alone in their losses as well as helping me express my sadness to others who can relate.
It is hard, but somehow we make it through and we all will and hope that time can heal some of our hurt and remember all the good they brought to our lives and how we can share that and carry them with us through life that way.
God Bless you all and I hope you have comfort in the bad times ahead....