Re: Advice on how to get over the fear of dying
Hrm, I am not sure how to phrase my answer without talking about other things that might be upsetting to some. I guess a mod can delete this if it's not kosher. The short answer is, I think of things that might cause more anxiety... If that sounds scary, don't read anymore.
Fear of death is one of my big ones. Everytime I try to close my eyes to sleep I think about it, and ultimately have to turn to watching "comfort" tv like Seinfeld reruns, Home and Garden Television and infomercials. Eventually I get so tired I just pass out. Which means I am tired the next day and end up missing a lot of work leading to more troubles.
I used to clear my mind and think of playing golf. Rolling green fairways, pristine white sand bunkers, on a warm day with the slightest breeze. I would visualize every detail of a golf game, the smells, sounds and feelings. That worked for a while too.
Currently, I have had to turn to more depressing thoughts. I figure death will come one of two ways. Either it will be quick and I won't have time to think about it, or it will be slow (I have a lot of cancer in my family) in which case I figure by the time death is close, I will be in so much pain I will welcome it. So basically, I am banking on life getting so horrible that death won't be so bad. Maybe not the most helpful thing in the world, but it does help me sleep.
I should metion, this is the first time I have ever even admitted I have anxiety in any kind of public setting. I only talked to my doctor about it today. I am 30 years old, and have had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I have learned to cope well with it out of necessity. This past January I was in a car accident, and hurt my back. Today I explained to my doctor that I needed a muscle relaxant to help me sleep, and I told him how I have difficulty sleeping anyway on account of anxiety. I told him how Valium is indicated for relief of muscle spasm in the back, and how I would like him to perscribe it for that, so that I could also see if it helped my anxiety. I have a very good doctor, and he wrote out a perscription for 30 5mg Valium pills. First time I have ever taken a benzo. I am very excited to see if they work.
I know first hand what anxiety can be like. When it hits, no logical thought seems to matter. I tell myself I am being silly, overreacting, but anxiety is like a physical as well as mental reaction. In fact, sometimes I feel the tightness in my chest, the pins and needles and coldness in my limbs, and sickness in my stomach, before I even think about anything. I actually sit there thinking "ok, my body is feeling anxiety. Why?" and I go over things in my head until I find something. I guess that is the best way to describe it. It is a feeling. And feelings, be it love, sadness, desire, fear or anxiety, don't respond well to logical arguments. The only way I have found to fight a feeling is with another feeling. When you feel anxious about death, think of things that you love, or enjoy, or desire. Fight your negative feelings with more positive feelings.
Last edited by SPC123; 04-23-2009 at 04:15 PM.