Terrified during the most exciting time of my life
Hi everyone! Hope everyone is feeling well today.
I am an 18 y/o female. The past few weeks I have been feeling some symptoms that do coincide with lupus. I have had horrid back and shoulder pain which occasionally migrates to my lower back. The past two days I have had finger and toe pain. I feel the constant need to crack my wrists. My period is coming and felt very bloated so I took some diuretics. Though it is now debilitating, I attributed the joint pain to PMS and the diuretics.
Lupus never really crossed my mind until this weekend. I was outside in the sun all day at a track meet (it was very very sunny) and developed what I thought initially to be a sunburn on my cheeks and nose. Unlike my arms and legs, I had no pain/stinging in my face. It is pink/lightish red in color and from the pictures I have seen in books/on the web... could very well be a Malar Rash. I would be 100% convinced if it was not for how I wore my makeup that day. I usually put on a lot of foundation (it has spf15) and bronzer only in the hollow of my cheeks, along my lower jaw, forehead, and especially the sides of my nose. I do this to thin out my face (try it, contouring actually works) This may sound extremely silly, but could it be possible that it actually is just a burn that only affected the bare skin and not a malar rash? I did put a tad bit of highlighter on the bridge of my nose as well.
I have not been feeling well the past few months. I have been extremely run down and sore. I can barely run like I used to. I am significantly slower. I have been in and out of the doctors the past few weeks because of my asthma flaring up. I had to be put on corti. steroids because my fast acting inhaler was not working. I feel pain (it feels more like pressure than a sharp pain) when I take deep breaths. My glands in my neck have been swollen ever since a bout of pneumonia in January. I also have frequent periods of muscle twitching that has lasted the last few months. I have a doctors appointment with my GP this friday, is Lupus worth looking into? My joints have just been aching me!
I must add, that I am an admitted hypochondriac and have been suffering from anxiety since this summer. I am a mess around my menstrual period. Embarrassingly, I have thought that I have had cystic fibrosis(never ending congestion), renal failure, and even leukemia. Basically a new disease every month. It is very possible that this is all psychosomatic, but it is hard to ignore the joint pain, muscle pain, and the possible Malar rash. This time it almost seems to actually be rational and I am terrified!
I don't have to tell you this, but some people live life with Lupus to the absolute fullest. Others do not. It can be a very debilitating disease. I have heard so many stories of people forcing to give up their jobs do to the pain and mental deterioration. Lupus is manageable, yes, but I feel like a Lupus dx would be devastating. Every since I have been a little girl I have had the dream of becoming a doctor. It really has been my passion; science has become my life. I am devoted to this dream. I have gotten the highest grades and really worked my *** off in high school. How would I ever be able to realistically handle the stresses of med school (and the profession!) with such an illness!?!? I have been accepted into one of the best BS/MD programs in the country with almost a full ride. My dream is finally becoming a reality. To have this dream shattered would absolutely kill me. I am so scared.