Re: Mom has COPD on hospice, need advice on morphine drops
Copingdaughter, maybe we don't have to die miserably as our loved ones seem to be doing. As I understand it, and as the book I suggested, "Final Gifts" says, as the moment of death draws ever near, the act of dying itself seems to be without pain and fear, unlike what we might anticipate. From what I have read and from what research I have seen, the act of dying itself is most often peaceful and comfortable. Today I asked our hospice nurse to answer some of the questions my dear husband had about what is in store for him (he has been so afraid of dying). When she explained that his condition would never get any better and that eventually it would take his life, he actually seemed to perk up! I was almost shocked. It seemed like when he heard the bare facts straight from her he was relieved. Maybe it's because now he knows exactly what the prognosis is...he's not in the dark anymore so to speak. Now he no longer believes everyone is hiding something from him.
About three weeks ago, my husband had a bad turn and developed pneumonia. When the doctor said "pneumonia" I felt it was the end for my husband. I was devastated. I just couldn't bear letting him go. But like your mom, my sweetheart rallied and became strong again. So now, just as you and your mom, we too are in "limbo"...waiting for the inevitable, but at the same time determined to make the very best of this situation. I know such an event as the sudden onset of pneumonia could happen at any moment. I could lose him at any time, but then he could last for many more weeks or even months. One thing I have learned over time...that is that the human body is amazingly resilient...the will to survive seems insurmountable. I believe in God's own good time...the right time... our loved ones will pass over...at a predestined time(?).
Don't let you faith be shaken, Copingdaughter. What we are going through is the way of things. We all must say goodbye to our loved ones eventually. It's just so tough to face right now as you and I are.