wondering if I have learning disability or something else
I've been wondering if I have some severe form of learning disability, but I doubt I've really been tested as to whether I have one. I've been to many therapists who didn't seem to know what to do with me and didn't know enough about my problems. I've been very confused and bewildered as to what mental impairment I have, and whether I could even fall into any diagnostic category. I have wondered over the years about whether I had many disorders, through trying to see if I fit criteria. My situation of impairments and the accompanying circumstances have been very unusual. I don't know where to go to find the right professional help for me, where they would really come to an understanding of what is wrong with me, or who would tell me that there is no kind of diagnosis possible for me if that is the case. I wonder if someone here could tell me whether or not I likely technically have a learning disability or some other disorder. I lack many basic skills and mess up just about any task and can't rely on myself to do anything right. I think my impairments started when I was about 3 with speech problems, that I think partly involved me repeating phrases of other children I interacted with back then.
I think I was kind of traumatized and scared in my early years due to the consequences of my weaknesses, and had a hard time adjusting to my earliest years at school. I was in special ed in 1st and 2nd grade during which I had some kind of speech class. After that, I still had a lot of difficulty in school, a lot of it with lack of paying attention. I would lose my place and then do/say something messed up, and others would point out what I was supposed to be doing. A lot of the time growing up, I've kept to myself and tried to stay out of what other children were doing. I've always had poor reading comprehension, and was in remedial reading during 4th and 5th grade. A lot of times throughout school, I didn't understand the things I was to learn or really get how to do a lot of schoolwork. Much of the time, I kinda got by with moderate grades. I've been to college and got a B.S. degree, but I only did moderately well throughout my years in college, don't think I learned a lot, and many times performed weakly due to difficulty and confusion, and I only did really well here and there and not consistently, and sometimes I got by on work I didn't truly complete. I've consistently performed weakly during my years in school at doing lab coursework in science courses. I've never really done well on standardized tests. My poor reading comprehension has gotten much worse in the past couple of years. My memory hasn't been that good and has also become worse lately.
I always have had a lot of social and communication impairments such as lack of ability to read body language and inability to converse with and greet others. I have a low vocabulary, am bad at verbalizing things. I have deficient writing skills, including anything involving creativity. I have many speech problems, where I can't articulate enough, can't find the right words or combination of words to express what I'm trying to tell or ask. I'm so incoherent many times, that people repeat what I say so others who didn't understand can hear. People don't understand what I say, and others would interpret it for others who didn't understand me. I tend to be slow at answering people's questions, and sometimes others answer questions for me because of my lack of response. I don't always realize that someone is talking to me, and other people have to tell me that I'm being talked to or they answer for me. I also sometimes think someone is talking to me and I answer them when they're really asking someone else something. When I'm not sure if they're talking to me, I sometimes hesitate, and if they were talking to me, someone else might answer for me. I also have a hard time understanding and absorbing what people are saying. I also misunderstand questions and answer them like they asked me something else.
I have a lot of coordination problems. I can't do many tasks with my hands well and couldn't learn to drive. I think there was also too much multitasking involved in that and many other tasks for me. I never learned to play sports and don't completely know how they're played. I don't think I can follow all of the things that go on when sports are played. It was so confusing to me and I have been hit in the head with balls before. I also frequently misunderstand and am confused by directions, oral and written. I feel as if I need things explained to me explicitly and very slowly. Doing things in school and at work, those few times I managed to briefly hold and gain a menial job, have been very hard and unsuccessful for me.
I mess up a lot of things too. I've had troubles with using telephones. One time I messed with some switch on it for some reason, which I didn't know at the time was a ringer, and then it didn't work. Sometimes I forget to use area codes when necessary, and talking on the phone is also confusing for me. I even had trouble opening a door somewhere once, and someone opened it for me. I don't know how to make a lot of purchases on my own. I am confused at restaurants a lot too, where I become confused at when exactly to say my order and don't know that sometimes I'm supposed to indicate which order was mine when the food comes. Others I'm with have to help me with that. How and when to pay would confuse me too. I wouldn't know what to do at a bar. Sometimes I accidentally touch or try to use things that aren't mine, but aren't and only looked like mine. I also have forgotten to take things of my own with me, and others would remind me. I don't always realize that I'm in someone's way and someone else alerts me about it. Sometimes I say stupid things that don't make sense or that are unfounded and are idiotically came up with. I one time forgot to pay for something before I walked past the payment counter because I was looking at it on line. Another time I forgot to take something out of the shopping basket to pay for it before the other things were paid for. I mess up at many other facilities that I have been to. Sometimes I walk in the wrong direction from not remembering where I was to go or from getting confused about what path I need to walk in, and others redirect me.
For a long time, I've usually kept myself withdrawn from people and many activities because I can't handle them. I know I wouldn't have any success, and would just mess things up, and that I can't learn to do a lot of things. I have tried having friends and doing more things before, but it was such a disaster, I went away from it. I am currently 25, and I am without skills for even simple employment and don't even know how to look for a job right and go through the application and interview process in a sufficient manner. I have been unemployed for over 2 years and have spend most of my time at home. There are a lot of other details about my circumstances and problems that may need to be considered.
Last edited by cloggedme352; 07-01-2009 at 05:20 PM.