Re: Emetophobia.. :(
clemkt - I'm so sorry to hear you are dealing with this problem. My daughter, who is 10 years old, has had emetophobia since she was 6. I took her to a therapist for a while but the therapist spent more time talking to me about MY anxiety than helping my daughter. However, the therapist did teach my daughter to "boss back" her fear. So when she is trying to eat her lunch in the school cafeteria, she is supposed to yell at her fear in her head and tell it to go away, let her alone, get away stupid fear, etc...At first you won't believe it, but after doing it for a while, the therapist said that your mind will actually start to believe it and you will be able to overcome the fear. You can try this therapy...maybe it will help you. This has not worked for my daughter, though, because I think she is still too young to completely undersand.
She struggles with this on a daily basis. She has not been out to eat in a restaurant for probably a year. She starts middle school next week and she is already worried about it. She also misses out on going away with friends at times. I am her safe person so when I'm not around, she feels lost.
Anxiety disorders are so unfair, especially when children/teens have to deal with them. They can rob you of your childhood/teen years by filling you with constant fear.
I hope you have someone to talk to...someone in your family or a close friend that won't judge you. I have to admit, sometimes I get upset with my daughter when we are trying to go away as a family and she starts freaking out over something that probably is not going to happen, but I know she is not doing it on purpose.
I know you don't want to see a counselor but honestly, sometimes it takes a while to find one that you are truly comfortable with. They really can help you to get control of this.
I wish I had more advice for you...but please just know that you are not alone. There are many, many people with this and it is possible to overcome it.