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Old 08-20-2009, 08:31 PM   #1
ktfair ktfair is offline
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2
ktfair HB User
Hello! I'm new..forced my parents to an AL..burdened by guilt.

Hello...
I'm so happy to have found this health board. I have been reading through posts..

Deb, your story is also so inspirational..I know this is a tough month for you, but I want to say that I have learned a lot just by reading your other posts. Thoughts are with you...

So, here's my immediate problem/guilt..Long story short: I have a Dad who is 81, has a dementia that is partly due to head injury, partly due to Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus...partly due to Alzheimers, perhaps. We were so focused on my Dad we didn't even notice how my mother, 10 years younger..she's 71..was little by little leaving us...the typical Alzheimers progression.

Where we are today: My mother began raging at me--I live in NJ--so my brother who lives in DC convinced my parents to "visit" him....while there, he convinced them to try respite trial at an assistedliving in Bethesda..and while they were there we sold the house..and basically forced them to stay. (I'm leaving out all the details).

My gut is wrenched. My parents call me 20 times a day yelling at me. They have torn up all photos of me. But our geriatric care manager tells us we are doing the right thing. That we need to stay tough. Part of me wishes I had "worked harder" to find MaryPoppins/Maria von Trapp/English Butler type of person to stay with them in their home...

Has anyone else had to force their parents to go to AL?

...sorry I'm blabbering...I'll get more focused in the future!

thank you for listening,
katy