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Old 08-21-2009, 03:56 PM   #5
dorri dorri is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Canada
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Re: Hello! I'm new..forced my parents to an AL..burdened by guilt.

Kate, sorry to hear about what you are going through. You are not alone, I think we all might have started out with some guilt.

We agreed to put mom in a NH because she could no longer care for herself. We all tried first keeping mom in our homes because we thought we could give her what she wanted and make her happy. She wasn't, she was miserable. As she was in each of our places, she required around the clock attention. It wasn't good enough if we were in the same room she needed someone to sit with her, and talk to her all the time. This was very difficult to do with a family and other responsibilties? Too, in the beginning, I was feeling so much guilt that it was clouding my judgement. I thought I would have a nervous breakdown, because I felt torn between her and my family. I recall losing it a few times, because mom was behaving so dependant and selfish, so I thought. Little did I know it was as a result of her illness.

I'm sorry that your parents are making you feel bad by their actions and anger. Just remember no matter how hard it is, that you are doing what's best for them. As they continue to get worse, you will see as I did that they are in the best place possible.

hugs

dorri