Duana, doctors said AWFUL things to me, too. Most foolish: "You MUST stop DOING this!", as though he could order my problems away.
Most obnoxious: dermie I'd been referred to by my new GP. Dermie asked, dripping sarcasm, "What's going ON between you and your 'friend' Dr. _____ ?" He pounded his desk so hard the papers jumped, and shouted, "You go tell your 'friend' Dr. _____ that I said that he's a [bleep bleep]!" So I leaned over, pounded his desk so hard his papers jumped, and snarled, "I am NOT Gunga Din! I do NOT carry water or bear messages!" (This strikes me as wildly funny now, but at the time it was horrible.)
Most ironic: one dermie told me that my targetlike rashes were FLEA BITES and ordered me to get rid of my beloved dog. Furious, I drove straight to our vet, who knew right away these weren't flea bites. Imagine... when your VET does a better job with you than your DOCTORS...!
SOME THOUGHTS: Are there local autoimmune support groups you could ask for doctor reco's? Also, check out the "Posting Policy" very carefully (per link above) for "Do's & Don'ts" about requesting & posting doctor info; you can get suggestions from readers here, *if* all parties abide by these Board rules. I hope others will chip in soon with more ideas. With big hugs, Vee