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Old 09-25-2009, 01:15 PM   #4
Pittsburgh_Flye Pittsburgh_Flye is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2007
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Re: best way to tell your Father he needs to be in a nursing home

If the OP doesn't mind, I'm going to ask the same question of people, with answers to the following questions:

How old is your Father.
79

Is he living alone now?
He lives with me, in my home, with my young daughter.

What health problems does he have.
He has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer that has metastasized to the liver and elsewhere.

What is his mental condition?
Not too shabby for his age and condition.

Is he handicapped, can't walk, etc.
No, not yet.

Who is taking care of him now.
He's self-sufficient at this point, but I fear weeks/months/perhaps years down the road he is going to require more care than I can provide for him. We are still waiting for what treatment options for the cancer, if any, are available to him (we have not received the biopsy report yet staging the cancer and exactly which type of lung cancer it is)

Is he able to take bath by himself? Yes, but he doesn't. Despite my constant nagging, he's had but 1 bath in 3 months, I'm sure of it. And disgusted about it.

Is he able to fix a bite to eat? Yes.

How is his vision? Does he still read, etc.? Yes.

How far away do other relatives live? Ha. There are none. Just me. No siblings...nothing but me.

There is going to come a time where I am going to have to broach the subject of his living in an assisted living place and I just don't know how to go about it in a sensitive way, plus, "kicking him out" when he would need me the most kills me; however, I am not suited to work full time, raise a young child, maintain my home and life and be a caregiver. I know I cannot do it.

Any suggestions based on what I've disclosed?