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Old 11-06-2009, 10:47 AM   #1
jackerella jackerella is offline
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Cali
Posts: 10
jackerella HB User
How do I tell them?

Hello all I am new here and am thankful to have found this forum. I am 44 and I am full time, live in caregiver to my elderly parents (87 & 86) for 7 years now...and also to my 13 year old daughter who has significant developmental delay and autism.

My husband left me two years ago and I have since been dating a wonderful man for about 8 months now. He is getting a job out of town and we have talked about getting married and me going with him of course.

My parents are financing the house we live in which is upside down and they have about 30,000 in cd's and get about 2000.00 per month in ssi and retirement income.

I have nothing but debt..not even a car. the car I drive belongs to my dad.

The arrangement we have had has been me being their caregiver in exchange for a place for me and my daughter to live. Now that I have a chance to have a husband and life of my own again I really want to take it.

I know they will be beyond devastated to know that I will be moving away and they will have to have another caregiver but their is no way they can afford to pay for one to come to the house. So, will they have to go into assisted living? They both have multiple diseases and use walkers and are barely ambulatory.

I am so overwhelmed with this job and have been for years now. How do I help them transition to another type of care? I have other siblings but they live far away and are not in much better health themselves.

Is it okay to feel like I have done my share and now someone else should take the burden from me so I can have a husband and home of my own?

Any insights, advice, or scoldings welcome.

Thanks!