View Single Post
Old 01-03-2010, 10:07 PM   #5
Gabriel Gabriel is offline
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: charlotte, nc, usa
Posts: 7,136
Gabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB UserGabriel HB User
Re: When and how to tell MIL we will be placing her

I too agree with everything Martha said. There is no need to prepare her. Mom and Dad moved into AL and took their own furniture. We did give Mom a couple of days to help pack up. We told her that the doctor insisted and it was just until Dad was better. Everything we said about the place was positive. It was temporary, it was doctor's orders, and it was going to be wonderful I totally agree that it's best not to go repeatedly the first few weeks. She is going to need time to adjust and find her way in her new world. That is easier done if she doesn't hang on to the connections of the past... which includes you. It has now been over 2 years since Mom and Dad moved into AL and 9 months since they moved to the locked unit. Today I talked to the caregivers because each time I was there Mom mentioned going home. they assured me that she only mentions it when I am there. It doesn't really distress her now... it's more just a statement. I had to laugh at her just before I left today. She told Dad they had to "go". I ask her where and she looked at me with a quizzical look on her face and said.. "I don't know, I guess we will just stay here!" It actually delighted me!!

Good luck on the move when you decide to make it

Love, deb